When you disobeyed the cardinal rule “Don’t shit where you eat.”
So a totally adorable boy just moved into your dorm, apartment building, or even better (worse)- your apartment. Awesome!!! Easy access right? Wrong! When things are going great yeah its awesome. But life doesn’t drop the perfect man on your doorstep without some catches. In the real world there are no storks. Instead there are messy frantic mornings, and tiring long days at work, and skin breakouts, and breakups and exes and weird friends and menstrual cycles and dishes that pile up in the sink, not to mention the toilet that could have done with a good cleaning about a week ago.
Easy access can mean learning too much-too fast…which can be a recipe for disaster. And that’s especially awkward when you have to then see your ex boy thing every day.
So how should an enlightened, self aware, self respecting female handle this situation?
1. Miss each other.
2. Set time limits.
3. Don’t go grunge.
Its easy to get real relaxed when living with your boy thing. 24 perfections is not easily achieved, and passing the line into “too comfortable” can happen easily and without full consciousness. Shower everyday, keep your nails neat, brush your teeth often (especially ladies if you’re a smoker), apply that smelly lotion you used to roll out for the randos at the club. I’m not saying apply full makeup, curlers, hoes and heals for a rainy day of cleaning, computer time and evening movie cuddle. But lets have some respect for ourselves. Men are lucky and look fine in pretty much anything, but they usually die first so it works out in the end.
4. The walls have ears.
5. Learn to cook
6. Learn to clean.
7. Be flexible and open to different kinds of music, movies, food, habits etc.
8. Don’t snoop. Try not to snoop. Ok, really try not to snoop.
9. Get a pet.
10. Have mutually enjoyable experiences outside of the house.
11. Find couple friends who are less cool than you are.
12. Be clear about money.
13. Try to communicate.
14. Have perspective.
15. Girl time is essential to mental health.
Yes your man is adorable and cuddly and surprisingly funny, but you have got to maintain your female relationships. Its normal to reduce the amount of time you spend with them, but don’t drop your girls and make a point to keep in relatively regular communication. They will keep you sane.
16. Open your journal and close your mouth.
Point 15 being valid, it is also crucial to remember that girls are tricky. They gossip, have ulterior motives, and will pull out the evidence book when it aids their aim.
17. Try not to drive your fellow dwelling companions crazy.
18. Maintain the ability to sleep alone.